Like anyone else I have had my fair share of unfair moments. From being bullied, treated unfairly, teased and called names because I was different. You know how it is when something happens to you and you feel like you are not the same person you used to be. The naïve childlike person is either gone or deeply hidden.
I used to wish that I never went through some of the things that I went through or that I hadn’t done some of the stupid things that I did so that I can be the girl who talks about all her childhood and adolescent experiences with a smile, but I’m not. And recently I have learnt to say “…and that’s okay”.
See if I hadn’t been bullied or gone through some stuff I would never be the person I am today. I would not have the experiences that enable me to advice people (least people my age), I would not be the girl working on different projects, I would not have this blog, I would not be relatable- because people need to know that they are not the only ones with struggles and need to know how people worked their way through theirs. Finally, I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with God now. Because I didn’t find Jesus in the picture-perfect, got it together, I’m living the dream and everyone likes me moments. Na ah! I found Him in my back against the wall, rock bottom, no one to turn to moments. That’s why I call Him my ride or die. He wasn’t just there when I was riding, but also when I thought I was dying. He has seen me thorough highs and lows.
So now I can look back at my sad experiences and even recent mistakes and smile. I do not wish them away because they made me a fighter! They made my skin thicker, made me tougher, made me want to treat people the exact opposite of how I was treated. They made me better!
I know there are many people out there who have had it less than perfect and this is me saying all those experiences are making you. No need to wish them away saying “if only you didn’t have to go through some things you wouldn’t be in the mess you are right now”. I believe that everything you have been through or what you are going through will come together like a beautiful tapestry. Just give it time.
See I have never seen a warrior without battle scars, strength without tears, or courage without fear. You’re doing okay. Keep on keeping on my friend and someday soon, just like David, your victory cry will be heard far and wide. See David found the Lord in the lowly meadows and he had to learn to be a fighter, so as the soldiers were trembling David could look the uncircumcised philistine in the eye and tell him the fate of those who challenge the God of a fighter.
The relationship with God, the instrument, the psalms and the fight were all cultivated in the miry clay but brought him to the palace and has maintained him till date as Israel’s most popular king.
One day you would look back at everything and understand that this person today would never have existed without the fights of yesterday.
It’s all a part of you. It made you a fighter.
Step of the day: Ask God to turn all your bad moments into something beautiful. He gives beauty for ashes.
Keep on keeping on love, you’re almost there.