The Introvert In Me

Waking up late morning with a brilliant smile on my face “ooh it’s going to be a glorious day”. The birds are chirping, the power is on. Uhhun i’m going to make myself one of those Instagram looking breakfasts, soak in the tub and finally I can watch tv! It’s going to be a happy day (happy dance in bed). I do my devotion, bounce out of bed and skip into the kitchen. I make my meal and I’m eating while flipping through channels and realising that I have a couple of my favourite shows and I few movies I have been hearing about all lined up. I do a second happy dance.

I get back into my office (my bed) and start on some writing when I realise that today is Wednesday. That means today is a service day. I would have to dress up, leave the house and meet people! The birds are quiet, the food is tasteless, the day is ruined. Do I have to go Jesus? Huh? Do I? Do I? An idea comes to mind. I quickly grab my phone, open You-Tube, type in the name of my church and click on the live stream. I’ll pay my offering on Sunday. The day is saved! The food has taste! The birds are singing again!

Whenever I tell people I’m an introvert I get either of these two responses: 1) What? How can you say that? Do you know what that means? Introverts are those creepy people that don’t know how to relate with others. 2) Nah you don’t know yourself, you’re almost hyper when you’re in your element.

Okay I do not know what the people giving the first response did in their spare time when they were younger, but the high school movies didn’t help. Too much of that stuff and your brain turns to potatoes.

What most people don’t understand about introverts and extroverts is that the major difference is how they get their energy. An extrovert comes alive when they socialise, hang out in groups, are active and just generally around people. But for us introverts it’s the opposite. Think of it as a battery, extroverts recharge when they are out and about and spend it when they are indoors while introverts need that alone time, quality solitude to recharge so they can go out and spend it hanging out with you.

Imagine this. Friend calls saying she would be coming over for a couple of nights. Im like cool okay, but then my eyes widen when she walks in with a suitcase. See going out means I have to meet people, but now the problem is within.

I am an only child and an introvert so I am not exactly a people person. I mean I could fool you if I’m in a good mood but that’s not my first nature. One of the first things I’m told whenever I am in a new environment is “my dear, you need to learn to open up”. Sometimes I smile it off, sometimes my facial expression betrays me because the people that are telling me to open up are busy talking in groups. What should I do walk up to each group and introduce myself?

Then I also have this thing for personal space so public transportation is a hassle, so is talking to people to like to touch me and lean on me as they are talking (pet peeves!! Smh). I hope this does not make me sound like a terrible person because I’m not. I love children, bright colours and old people. I’m a pretty decent human with a sense of humour.

Oh let me tell you about the time I was talking to this dude. Dude saw the measure of space I left between us (which honestly was the same as I have been talking to people my whole life) and he took two steps forward. I then took a step back (all this without breaking the conversation) and he matched the step I took. Finally stepped around a table so it was between us and then he stopped and asked “can you hear me like this”? And I responded with a smile “clearly”.

A little something to make you smile

Love, Hazel.

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