“Today I said I’m not doing anything. I just want to lay in my bed”. Hope I got the lyrics right. That was not my original plan but that’s my life for three days now. Am I sad about my lack of activity? Honestly I haven’t felt this refreshed in months. There’s a strike going on at my work so I have been home for say going to two weeks now. I decided I was going to use the time to focus on the blog-which is you guys and myself.
Network over here doesn’t understand that a girl has a blog, uploading days are something else and sometimes the network is great until I’m about to upload. I would be going through You-Tube videos like nobody’s business, replying chats, checking emails, but the second I say alright time to put up a post the network just shows me who’s boss. Then electricity…that’s a different story. They’ve had a schedule for the past month or so, and I have adjusted my day accordingly. Just when I was going with the flow they changed the schedule.
But in the last couple of days I have done nothing! Well except bible study and reschedule a visit to my uncle’s. Speaking of bible study did I tell you guys about the guy in the choir I have or had a crush on? No not White Collar Guy there’s another one. Before you think I’m crazy let me explain. White collar guy was before my national service, this is different. Different time, different church. All these singing guys. Smh.
As for yesterday, my morning devotion (that I sorta rushed through if I’m being honest) and writing this, and taking a shower are the most productive things I’ve done. I probably should do some exercise, clear my bed, arrange my room, but that sounds like stress and stress and lazy don’t rhyme. So maybe I’ll do that tomorrow.
I’m happy, I needed a break. Not that my job was tasking in anyway- that is far from the truth. But because I needed a break from thinking aka worrying about the future, from trying to work things out, from stressing out and comparing my lives to friends and people around me who seem to be in a much better place that I am (I need a permanent vacation from this though), I just needed a lazy day. I have been downloading and watching silly predictable movies all afternoon. I even slept off in the middle of the day. I haven’t done that in forever. I’m thankful for the break.
I can’t shake the feeling that someone needs a break. You may not be physically tired but you’re mentally or emotionally exhausted. You wake up in the morning and you’re exhausted and it feels like your mind is driving you crazy. Its okay, you just need a break. It may not look like you have the time but the only thing worse than the feeling of burning out is when the world and the very things that are pressing your time have the audacity to move on when you’re burnt out and can take no more.
Can I tell you a secret? Have you ever noticed you got more stuff done, more problems solved when you were relaxed? Even that pesky one that gave you sleepless nights, you realised the solution was much easier than you thought. That’s the power of peace. Peace that comes when you’re at rest. You would be able to hear Jesus clearer because you would be right next to Him, where all those with heavy burdens go. And I hear that He attends to light burdens too.
That’s all I’ve got to say, now if you don’t mind I’m going back to my silly predictable movie