Firstly, ain’t nobody got it together or got it all figured out, not even Michelle Obama. So if you feel a little lost every now and then or find yourself wondering what your next step would be its okay, that’s normal, you’re not alone, and it’s all part of life’s adventure.
Hey guys, no I didn’t just turn 21. In fact I took that photo on my 22nd birthday. But just before I turned 22 I penned down a few lessons I learned from my mistakes and my little victories but mostly mistakes, in my twenty one years on this earth and I decided, as usual, to share my thoughts with you guys. Here we go!
- Learn to say No! You have probably heard this a few times and it is because it is important. Saying no from the start is way better than saying yes and then not following through. There were times that I relied on people to work with me on something or help me get some work done and they didn’t follow through. I cannot tell you how badly I wished they had just told me “Hey, this is pretty cool but honestly I have got so much on my plate, I wouldn’t be able to follow through” rather than making me miss deadlines and disappoint people because I relied on them.
And if you think about it you keep weakening the power of your word the more you say yes and fail to follow through.
Saying no does not make you a bad person. People will keep placing demands on you and it is up to you to show them your limit.
- Learn to discipline yourself or life is going to get much harder than it has to be. You have responsibilities and people have a right to hold you to them. If you start something, follow through it builds people’s trust in you.
- Not all BFFs are forever and that’s okay. This was a hard lesson to learn for me. You cannot take every single one of your friends on your journey with you from start to finish. It is impossible. Environments will change, priorities will change, mentalities will evolve, bad habits will be formed, all of that. Friends will gradually turn into acquaintances and that’s okay. You do not need 200 friends you need your squad, your inner circle, your ride or die, and those you usually can count with one hand.
- Being a bully or being mean can never be cute. It may make you feel powerful for a moment but taint your reputation for a long while. See the person you bullied or the people you are mean to will not be ‘below’ you forever.
- This is for my ladies. Girls! The only guy you should ever chase is the one driving the ice-cream truck, even then the ice-cream should be worth it.
- Invest in yourself. When we hear this at first we think “mani peddies, spa day, new bag, new weave” no girl that is pampering not investing. While it is crucial to pamper yourself it is even more beneficial to invest in yourself. Put some substance in that beautiful body. After one conversation with you let people walk away in awe of your mind.
- Find the balance. Christianity is not about religious activities rather it is a relationship, but we do need those religious activities. Counting calories drives me crazy but eating junk without nutrients will make me crazy. Its okay to eat chocolate just don’t neglect your fruits, your veggies, and your nutrients. Some exercise 3 hours everyday others an intense work out once a week. Find the balance. Find what works for you and do it.
- In a world where being superior to others is becoming a secret accessory, kindness, love, helpfulness, humility, gentleness…will make you stand out like the moon on a starless night.
- If you have to choose between sexy and classy choose classy. Class and elegance always win.
- They won’t buy the cow if you’re giving the milk for free, having someone’s attention doesn’t mean having someone’s respect. If you want respect, set your standards.
- The people who try to make you feel less than who you are, are not comfortable or secure in who they are.
- Being a Christian, standing on your morals, and doing the right thing is the unpopular opinion. Get ready to be opposed and unpopular for a while, but I promise you God honours and uplifts those who serve Him and acknowledge Him.
- Singleness is not a curse! It is a blessing, it is a season, don’t waste it, take advantage of it. It is a phase in your life and once it’s gone, it’s gone. Wait for planes, trains, busses and ships not for spouses. Please live your life, it starts the day you are born and not the day you get married.
- Stop trying to keep up with the Jonnesses, their life is run and paid for by endorsements.
- Virtual fame is not a way to live life.
- Discover your life’s purpose and then everyday do something that takes you one step closer to it. Now that’s a way to live a fulfilled life.
- Go easy on yourself. That nagging thought that keeps telling you that you are competing with people and makes you push yourself unnecessarily is robbing you of your peace. You need to silence it.
- Believe me you don’t want to write a social media post when you’re emotional, feeling down or in ‘that’ state of mind. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
- Everyone makes mistakes, does the wrong thing and has embarrassing moments. Its okay. Just learn from them and move on. If you can find your sense of humour, laugh, you will feel a whole lot better I promise.
- You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with aka talk to (over the phone or in person) and hang out with the most. So when you see your life going in a certain direction (positive or otherwise) know why.
- Slow down, smile more, laugh more, hug for longer, be you! Don’t alter your uniqueness to fit anyone’s idea or to be accepted. Keep being you and you will attract people like you.
Here’s an extra
- Celebrate yourself. My mom told me a few years ago that I should learn to celebrate my small victories. Don’t wait until you hit that major landmark before you celebrate yourself. Don’t say “ooh I just got out of high school” or “I just got my first job” or “I just started the blog”. No. Celebrate your small victories! It could be getting a cupcake or a slice of some really good cake on your way, or something fancy, it is totally up to you. Do you know the funny thing? I cannot remember my small victories but I can remember my small celebrations. A spontaneous mani peddi, a cupcake then a couple of slices of cake from a nearby cake store, a bag- no I can remember that one, cheap jewellery, a couple of cute tops, and one time I even told the server that I wanted a cone but he should hold the ice-cream!
You may not remember all the landmarks but your mind will be full of those happy little memories of doing those fun little things.
And we’re done! I ended up giving 23, who knew I learned so much.
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